It was a dark and stormy night…

Yes, I am aware that phrase is the clicheiest phrase you could ever write. Yes, I am also aware that it is a greatly mocked sentence; even Peanuts has laughed cheerfully at it:


Aaaanyway, here goes. My part is at the bottom, as always.

Stephanie: Once upon a time, there was a girl. This girl was very special and magical. Extraordinary. She had amazing powers, unlike no other. Or so she thought.

Daniela: One very dreary day, this girl was sulking around her house. She was home alone, you see, so she couldn’t go outside to play in the rain (it was something she very much liked to do). When she was asking herself whether to watch TV or eat a snack, the doorbell rang. Going against everything she had been taught by her overprotective parents, she opened it. At the bottom of the steps in front of her house stood a very old-looking cow, a flower planted in a shoe, and a very big package, about the size of a small sofa.

Stephanie: She just stared at it in utter (heh cows) confusion and yet amazement. The cow walked in through the door past her, so she picked up the flower in a shoe and hauled in the huge package. The girl assumed the flower in a shoe was a gift, so she looked left and right outside, but seeing no one, closed the door and set it a side. She wished to express her thanks for her odd gift, but there was still the package and an old cow. She stared at the old cow which looked her straight in the eye and said ‘Moo’, just like a little kid would imitate a cow using that sound. But now her full attention was on the package and she started to peel off the tape.

Daniela: Five minutes later she deeply regretted it; a loud, screeching verse of “Old McDonald” greeted her as at last the cardboard flaps fell open. She put on arm around her head to try to block it out as she peered inside, but, alas, the sound seemed to penetrate almost anything. Inside the box was a small radio, which seemed to be what was emitting the horrible sound- she was surprised it could sound so loud and yet not be heard through the sides of the box. Along with the radio she found a watch, a dirty sock with a few rocks inside it, and a block of slowly melting ice with what seemed to be a parrot frozen inside. “Strange,” she muttered, five seconds before a loud crash was heard from behind her, and she turned around to find that the refrigerator had fallen on top of the cow and that half the kitchen was now on fire.

Stephanie: She thought this was a little weird, but not bizarre. After all, she had special powers. First, she sprayed water out of the hands like a hose to cool off the kitchen, then she telepathically moved the fridge up and back in place, and she kicked the radio with such force it finally stopped yapping. The ringing in her ears finally stopped. She looked back at the cow and he said, “Luke, I am your Father!”

Daniela: It was a dark and stormy night, that night. After realizing that the cow was, in fact, technically her father, the girl began to question why it had called her Luke when her name was actually Alvina Blackwood- but the cow only stared solemnly out the window at the storm outside and muttered something about needing a glass of milk. This, Alvina did not understand. Literally, she did not understand, the cow was speaking in a language unknown to her, which was strange, since her parents had forced her to learn them all and she had built in translation skills in her brain. After thinking for a second, Alvina trotted upstairs to get her traveling cloak and reappeared a few minutes later in front of the cow with the parrot inside the block of ice, the watch, the dirty sock with the rocks, the flower in the shoe, and the radio, all jangling around inside of the box, and said, “Come on, Cow, we’re going on an adventure.”

Why thank you, thank you, yes, I know that was amazing.


Yeah, and there’s also a meet tomorrow, the championship one, so if you could fork over a little luck in addition to the money that would be just swell.

Relax, Lemonade, etc etc, I know, luck, money, bye-



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