{"id":560,"date":"2015-12-13T21:00:33","date_gmt":"2015-12-14T02:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/?p=560"},"modified":"2015-12-17T19:06:37","modified_gmt":"2015-12-18T00:06:37","slug":"hello-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/?p=560","title":{"rendered":"Hello, Christmas!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sup guy it’s Steph!!!! How’s life? That’s great. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about your life, now are we? So, I said there would be a part 2 but I just don’t feel like it… also I don’t really remember… so yeah. I had to walk across a bridge over water so that’s great. And I do NOT mean like a little bridge in a creak, I mean a bridge that cars drive on over a huge river. ‘Course, we weren’t on actual rode cuz we were on this thing connected to it on the left. Anywho, I had yummy mashed potatoes and other food.<\/strong><\/p>\n

But enough about Thanksgiving. It’s over! Goodbye Thanksgiving, hello Christmas! Only 12 days til Christmas! And we have one week of school left, really two whole days. Cuz of stuff happening. Earlier I went to my brother’s guitar Christmas concert so that was cool. He’s in guitar band, which the best and highest level. I’m not trying to brag on behalf of my brother; they just always play the funnest music cuz they are ‘band’ and highest group. He was only in guitar band this year, anyway.
\nYesterday evening, we went to this thing where they have a bunch of nativities made in different countries with different styles. It’s really cool! They do it every year.<\/p>\n

Oh, by the way, I would like to put full blame on Daniela for getting me hooked on Sherlock. I mean, I’ve only watched two episodes, but if you know me, (Ahem, Daniela) that means a lot. ‘Tis problematic, however, that each episode is an hour and a half long.<\/p>\n

And now, I present to you, another part of the very strange story!<\/p>\n

Stephanie: Once upon a time, there was a girl. This girl was very special and magical. Extraordinary. She had amazing powers, unlike no other. Or so she thought.<\/p>\n

Daniela: One very dreary day, this girl was sulking around her house. She was home alone, you see, so she couldn\u2019t go outside to play in the rain (it was something she very much liked to do). When she was asking herself whether to watch TV or eat a snack, the doorbell rang. Going against everything she had been taught by her overprotective parents, she opened it. At the bottom of the steps in front of her house stood a very old-looking cow, a flower planted in a shoe, and a very big package, about the size of a small sofa.<\/p>\n

Stephanie: She just stared at it in utter (heh cows) confusion and yet amazement. The cow walked in through the door past her, so she picked up the flower in a shoe and hauled in the huge package. The girl assumed the flower in a shoe was a gift, so she looked left and right outside, but seeing no one, closed the door and set it a side. She wished to express her thanks for her odd gift, but there was still the package and an old cow. She stared at the old cow which looked her straight in the eye and said \u2018Moo\u2019, just like a little kid would imitate a cow using that sound. But now her full attention was on the package and she started to peel off the tape.<\/p>\n

Daniela: Five minutes later she deeply regretted it; a loud, screeching verse of \u201cOld McDonald\u201d greeted her as at last the cardboard flaps fell open. She put on arm around her head to try to block it out as she peered inside, but, alas, the sound seemed to penetrate almost anything. Inside the box was a small radio, which seemed to be what was emitting the horrible sound- she was surprised it could sound so loud and yet not be heard through the sides of the box. Along with the radio she found a watch, a dirty sock with a few rocks inside it, and a block of slowly melting ice with what seemed to be a parrot frozen inside. \u201cStrange,\u201d she muttered, five seconds before a loud crash was heard from behind her, and she turned around to find that the refrigerator had fallen on top of the cow and that half the kitchen was now on fire.<\/p>\n

Stephanie: She thought this was a little weird, but not bizarre. After all, she had special powers. First, she sprayed water out of the hands like a hose to cool off the kitchen, then she telepathically moved the fridge up and back in place, and she kicked the radio with such force it finally stopped yapping. The ringing in her ears finally stopped. She looked back at the cow and he said, \u201cLuke, I am your Father!\u201d<\/p>\n

Daniela: It was a dark and stormy night, that night. After realizing that the cow was, in fact, technically her father, the girl began to question why it had called her Luke when her name was actually Alvina Blackwood- but the cow only stared solemnly out the window at the storm outside and muttered something about needing a glass of milk. This, Alvina did not understand. Literally, she did not understand, the cow was speaking in a language unknown to her, which was strange, since her parents had forced her to learn them all and she had built in translation skills in her brain. After thinking for a second, Alvina trotted upstairs to get her traveling cloak and reappeared a few minutes later in front of the cow with the parrot inside the block of ice, the watch, the dirty sock with the rocks, the flower in the shoe, and the radio, all jangling around inside of the box, and said, \u201cCome on, Cow, we\u2019re going on an adventure.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stephanie: Then, the cow jumped up on all it\u2019s hind legs and said. \u201cI am NOT a cow. My Name is Alberto Francis Anne George Burton Guster the 3rd.\u201d
\n\u201cOkaay then.\u201d Alvina replied.
\n\u201cHa you actually believed me! How ridiculous! My name is Alberto Francis Anne George Burton Guster, the first!\u201d
\n\u201cRight. That\u2019s makes sense\u201d she said as she pushed him out the door. The cow just let her push him, and did not help whatsoever. \u201cHey, did you seriously steal Harry Potter\u2019s cloak? \u2018Cause that\u2019s just rude\u201d he asked. \u201cAre you kidding me? Err.. I mean\u2026 Why would I ever do that?\u201d she said guiltily. That\u2019s when they heard an explosion.<\/p>\n

Kaitlyn: I raced back inside to find the fridge in smithereens. The cow\u2019s expression looked blank, but had a hint of smugness to it.
\n\u201cDon\u2019t lie to me.\u201d he said slyly.
\n\u201cUmmmm\u2026 er\u2026 What makes you think I would steal something from Harry Potter?\u201d I lied again, reaching for the front door, eager to start our adventure. Just before I touched the door knob, it exploded.
\n\u201cAgain!\u201d I shouted at the cow.
\n\u201cAaaaahhhhhhhhh!\u201d I grunted\/groaned\/yelled as I shot a bolt of lightning through the cow. With one last \u2018Moo\u2019 he fell to the floor. Unconscious or dead, I didn\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

Daniela: \u201cAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH! WHAT DID I DO?! WHAT DID I DO?! ALBERTO, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!\u201d Alvina fell to the ground and reached a hand out to the cow, nearly weeping and uncertain if she should perform CPR. It was, after all, a cow. Suddenly the cow leapt up, nearly hitting Alvina with it\u2019s bell collar; he had glowing black eyes (don\u2019t even ask me how black can glow, I dunno). \u201cNever again,\u201d it shouted, \u201cNever again will someone call me Alberto, for that is my dead father\u2019s name!\u201d He turned to Alvina, \u201cYOU will address me by my FULL name: Alberto Francis Anne George Burton Guster, the first, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU. SPEAK. TO. ME.\u201d<\/p>\n

Alvina yelped involuntarily and grabbed her stuff, \u201cLet\u2019s just leave, Alberto Francis Annie Georgia- uh\u2026let\u2019s just go.\u201d<\/p>\n

The cow tossed his longish snout-length blond hair and put his nose in the air, \u201cFine. Whatever.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stephanie: So they were off. Alvina Blackwood the human and Alberto Francis Anne George Burton Guster the first, a talking cow\/her father, started walking followed by a number of strange things. “Hey, so umm where are we even going?” asked Alvina.
\n“Only time can tell,” replied the cow.
\n“Woah, that was kinda deep, Alberto Francis Anne George Burton Guster.”
\n“Shut up, you dim-witted elephant.”
\n“Never mind then.” Then something very strange indeed happened. Someone, or something fell from the sky leaving a huge Illuminati mark in the grass. Who could it be? The almighty Thor!
\n“Holy giraffes!” exclaimed Alberto. “Illuminati!”
\n“I mean, c’mon what else would you expect from a powerful Norse god?” Dang, look that hair! And those muscles…<\/em><\/p>\n

Ok, that’s all for now! Merry Christmas and see ya later, dudes!
\n-Steph <3 \ud83d\ude42<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sup guy it’s Steph!!!! How’s life? That’s great. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about your life, now are we? So, I said there would be a part 2 but I just don’t feel like it… also I don’t really… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":568,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,4,3],"tags":[8,12,11],"class_list":["post-560","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-strange-story","category-fall-2015","category-stories","tag-avss","tag-christmas","tag-thor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/560","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=560"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/560\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":569,"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/560\/revisions\/569"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/568"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=560"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=560"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/lemonade.chapus.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=560"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}